Tugboats, Persuasion, and Head-On Collisions

I have always lived in port towns. The Bay of Alaska could be seen from the hospital room where I was born. My dad was a longshoreman, so when we moved down to the lower 48, we settled next to the largest port on the Columbia river. So I spent time around boats, and I was fascinated by tug boats. I have learned that tug boats can teach us a lot about communicating our faith.

As I write this, I am visiting Vancouver, B.C. If you travel up the mountains that tower over the city, you can look out over the whole Straight of Georgia. There you will see a string of big cargo ships making their way to Vancouver. They come in with such inertia that they can often cut their engines at the beginning of the straight and come in under very little power.

The little tugs that meet them are almost all engine, but in many ways they are not a match for these big ships. If they confronted them head on, you would soon see them bobbing up in the big ship's wake. But that's not what they do. They come along side. From that position they will have some influence on a big ship's course no matter what the ship does.

This is how a good argument is formed. You start by coming along side. You start, not with disagreement, but with agreement; not with the phrase, "Your wrong because..." but with, "I agree with you there."

Any good persuasive argument begins by finding shared understanding and truth. There has to be a place of agreement to build from. We see this in Acts 17 as Paul speaks to a crowd that should be unsympathetic. Paul finds that he shares common ground in religious concern. This concern has had a different outcome in Paul than in his audience, but it is a starting point they have in common. Paul will teach his audience a different conclusion from this shared concern. Paul then finds teaching from the two contending group of Athenians that he can endorse. He comes alongside. He finds shared truth. Then he builds on it to correct their mistakes about God and the gods.

Too much apologetics and evangelism doesn't follow the model we are given in Scripture. If we want to impress other Christians with our radical stances, then we begin aggressively, proving from the start how different (and judgmental we are). Rush Limbaugh and Bill Maher are not good role models for persuasion. They speak to keep their ratings up with people who already share their personal prejudices, but they seldom win new converts.

I am forever grateful to my middle school teacher who taught me how to write good persuasive essays. He taught me that the thesis statement should alway include the oppositions best, valid point and then build on it to show a better next step.

In today's polarized culture we are seeing few minds changed as people are increasingly preaching to the convinced for approval. Too many arguments begin with the points of deepest conflict, and too many arguments fail. Good arguments begin with shared truth and build from there. If you haven't found that point of shared truth yet, then dig deeper, because you are not going to change anyone's mind until you can first say, "I agree with you there!" From there you can say, "That's why I believe..." and you are much more likely to be listened to. You don't want to start with a head-but. Instead, come along side.