Social?

Trends and technology can change our perception. We have to be alert to these possible changes so we can make conscious choices about them. One current change is in the definition of social. Seattle pastor, Bill Berger, pointed me toward an interesting article ( http://on.msnbc.com/ ). Sales and marketing database NetProspex has just released its list of the most and least social cities in the U.S. Seattle topped the list while Anchorage, AK was at the bottom. What was fascinating about the list was how they determined the ranking.

The ranking was solely based on how many employees were using Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

When we measure how social a community is, we are measuring human interaction. In the past this interaction had to do with connecting personally and physically (as in being in the same room, on the same street, within yelling distance). The phone allowed social contact over distance but was usually seen as a secondary choice over close interaction. Even more distant was television. Although some people may believe they are socially involved with the Housewives of Orange County when they tune in each week, most of us understand it's a weak substitute for human interaction.

This is not a diatribe against Facebook and Twitter. I make a great deal of use of each, but their use does not necessarily make me social. I love the fact that I have some contact with people I am separated from by great distance and by years, but if given a chance, I would trade a tweet for a visit in a moment. I also know that I have to guard myself from allowing computer contact to substitute for close, personal contact.

Relationships are inconvenient. They mean that I have to go out of my way to look up people. I have to change my schedule to accommodate others. I have to clean up after throwing a party or hosting a gathering. Acquaintances are just a little annoying, friendships are disruptive, and marriage...? Well, the word exponential comes to mind. But the joys, the benefits, and the riches of life together grow with the bother.

I've been to Anchorage, AK. I was born in Alaska - and I find it hard to see it as an antisocial city. Those long winter days with little sunlight demand interaction. Otherwise cabin fever sets in (It explains all the bowling alleys).

In the end, your social life is not measured by how many friends you have on Facebook. It's measured by whether or not you bend your life to get to know the people who live around you. The lost and the lonely don't post their need on Twitter. They may not even have an account. They are connected with, loved, and healed in person.

Keep connect and in touch on the Web. I think it's a great gift. But it's far too clean and filtered to deal with our deepest social needs. The most social city is the one where it's citizens are the most hospitable. Where they inconvenience themselves for the sake of fellowship. Where they aren't too busy to stop and talk face to face, or share a Pepsi (I am not compensated for product placement), and where they choose to party together. I'll keep up with Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn, but I hope I never use them to define my social life.