The Virtue of Compromise

There are two types of compromise. One is a necessary virtue and the other a weakness to be avoided. Today, there is a tendency to villainize all types of public compromise while turning a blind eye to personal, moral compromise until it blows up in scandal. This reversal of values and practice has led to public division and an erosion of character.

Compromise is necessary whenever two or more people interact. We each have goals and desire that often encroach on each other's lives. If we demand our way in all things, then we each become petty dictators at war with all those around us that interfere with what we want. Compromise is reached through communication and understanding. It's finding a way to live peacefully with each other by balancing and curbing our desires. It is an essential part of love... And of growing up.

Marriage is a good example. Two people come together who have a lot in common but are still bound to have competing goals, habits, and desires. In order to experience the best that marriage has to offer, they must communicate, decide what is most important to them, and bend a bit to make room for each other. We've all seen couples that refuse to do this. One or the other acts as a controlling bully, aggressively lording it over the other.

We see this in modern politics when a party insists on getting its way and "winning" instead of finding solutions that will work for the people they serve, but in all honesty, this also reflects a lack of civility that is growing throughout our society. The Christian values of love and service - even to our enemies - are seen as weak. Uncompromising dominance has become a perceived Christian virtue, and one which - make no mistake - God opposes. Paul was obedient to God by becoming all things to all people so that he could reach as many people as possible (1 Cor 9:19-22). Too often today, Christians are demanding others act just like them before they will even talk to them.

I desire to follow Jesus before I follow my desires or my culture's mandates (I wish I was better at it, but that is the growth point in all our lives). He desires that I reach out in love to reach those far from the gospel. I can't do that if my uncompromising nature has built walls against those who don't agree with me. A culture with room for diversity and different views may be messy, but it allows me access to those who still need to hear the gospel.

Compromise becomes evil when it is the compromise of my personal values and convictions, when I know what is right, but tell God I'm the exception. Jesus comes to us as Lord as well as savior. In fact, he only becomes our savior when we surrender to his Lordship. It is only in those things that would insist on behavior that would violate my relationship with God that I can't compromise.

But here's the rub. If I refuse to compromise with those around me so that we can live in peace (as long as the compromise does not include active sin on my part), then I have placed my wants and comforts before God's desire that I be salt and light. In other words, in rejecting relational compromise, I have compromised my personal relationship with God. That's getting it backward. That's sin.